TO WIVES LEFT BEHIND

TO OUR WIVES WHOM WE LOVE,
WHO ALWAYS GET LEFT BEHIND.
PLEASE KNOW THAT YOU ARE THOUGHT OF,
YOUR ALWAYS ON OUR MINDS.

AS WE SAIL ALONG THE OCEAN,
AND PULL INTO DIFFERENT PORTS,
THE FIRST THING WE GO HUNTING FOR,
ARE TRINKETS OF ALL SORTS.

SOMETHING TO SURPRISE YOU WITH,
ON THE AWAITED HOME COMING DAY,
TO LET YOU KNOW WE THOUGHT OF YOU,
EACH PORT ALONG THE WAY.

SOME DAYS WE BARELY GET A BREAK,
AND WE WORK UNTIL DAYS END.
BUT WHEN WE LAY IN OUR RACKS AT NIGHT,
PLEASE KNOW, OUR LOVE WE SEND.

OUR DEPLOYMENTS MAY BE LONG,
AND THE END IS HARD TO SEE,
BUT SOON DEAR NAVY WIVES OF OURS,
IN OUR ARMS YOU SOON WILL BE.

copyright 1999, Michelle L. Dillman

Struggle In My Mind

What do you do when your life has no path?
No direction to follow
And no guideposts to map.

Where do you turn to?
When you can't find your goals.
Your threads are all tangled
And your smile is faded.

How do you decide
What to do next?
It tumbles and turns
Inside of your head.

Give me the answers
So I can see clear.
Make my eyes open
And scream in my ear.

Top Books on PCOS

I was diagnosed with Polycystic Ovary Syndrome (PCOS) back in January. Though it has been tough, I have found some great books to learn more about PCOS and how to cope with it. I'd like to share my top picks for PCOS books:

1. Positive Options for Polycystic Ovary Syndrome (PCOS): Self-Help and Treatment by Christine Craggs-Hinton and Adam Balen - This is a wonderful book that lays out all the options for dealing with PCOS. My favorite chapters discuss "complementary therapies" and natural therapies.
2. PCOS and Your Fertility by Colette Harris and Theresa Cheung - If you are looking to get pregnant and have PCOS, this is the book for you! This book gives tons of great information for increasing your fertility and getting pregnant. It even talks about what to do once you are pregnant, since there is a higher risk of miscarriage for women with PCOS.
3. The New Glucose Revolution Guide to Living Well with PCOS by Dr. Jennie Brand-Miller and Nadir Farid - As a woman with PCOS, I understand how hard it is to lose weight. This "diet" book is a great option to help you lose weight and change your eating habits.

There are plenty of other books about PCOS and managing your symptoms. These are just a few that I own and absolutely love!

Much Better

I am feeling much better but still not sleeping. Those last pills I took for my insomnia were kinda scary. Unfortunately, these new pills are not working very well. But at least I don't get amnesia with these ones.

My husband called me yesterday and I had a nice long conversation with him. I am so happy I get to see him in a little over a month! It is so hard being a military wife, but I love my sailor so much!

A Little Off

I had a good weekend in Palm Springs but I didn't do much besides shop and lay around. So I don't have any pictures to share.

I have been off the last couple of days because of a new medication. I go back to the doctor today because this new medication is not working right with me.

So for this week, my posts will be sporadic. Please bare with me as I try to feel better.

Palm Springs

I am going to Palm Springs for the weekend with my mom. We are staying with her friend. They are going to antiques roadshow tomorrow out there and I'm going to tag along for the weekend. While they go to the show, I will go shop! :-)

I also have some books along, my swimsuit, puzzle book, and my cross stitching. So it should be a very restful weekend. I am hoping to finish my current cross stitch project and post a picture of it on here when it is done. I'm taking my camera so I will hopefully have some pictures on Sunday or Monday.

Have a great weekend!

Day 5: Steps to Humility

On the last day of Character Makeover's study on humility, the author presents an action plan. I'd like to share this action plan here in today's post. A Humility Action Plan lays out the steps to follow to deepen this quality in your life.

Humility Action Plan

Prayer Focus: Worship God by praying about his wonderful characteristics or his names. Ask him to show you where pride is being exhibited in your life. Praise him and put your focus on him.

Devotional Focus: Choose a Scripture passage on the topic of humility.

Extra Perspective: Read books to better understand God's nature. Or give extra attention to a friend so you can take your focus off of yourself.

Action Steps: Developing a Right View of God
Choose one or two action steps to practice this week.

• I will worship God. Take time to pray more during your daily activities.
  
• I will study God. Read your Bible and maybe buy a bible study book.
  
• I will hunt for God. Journal where you see God in your daily life.

Action Steps: Developing a Right View of Myself
Choose one or two action steps to practice this week.

• I will stop trying so hard to be perfect.
• I will not tear myself down.
• I will not boast.
• I will try to learn one new thing every day.
• I will check my motives.
• I will obey God in an area in which I have been holding back.

Action Steps: Developing a Right View of Others
Choose one or two action steps to practice this week.

• I will be an encourager.
• I will be a helper.
• I will be a servant.
• I will be a receiver.
• I will be a mentor.

For your Master Action Plan, choose one major action step from the Humility Action Plan and record it on your Master Action Plan. Consider writing the Master Action Plan in your journal.

That is all for this week's focus on humility. Join me next week when we study the character quality of confidence.

Humility Day 4: He Must Increase

Today, Katie takes us deeper in to ourselves to explore ways to be more humble. I love the verse that she opens up with: "He must increase, but I must decrease." John 3:3o

"The prescription for humility starts not with working on humility, but working on increasing your vision of God. As you grow closer to him, spend more time concentrating on him, set your sights firmly on him, invest yourself in learning about him and talking with him, he will take up more and more of your field of vision." pg. 47

Let's examine Philippians 2:3-8 and meditate on how you are decreasing yourself and increasing your vision of God.

Verse 3: When you do things, do not let selfishness or pride be your guide. Instead, be humble and give more honor to others than to yourselves.

• In what ways can you give more honor to others?

Verse 4: Do not be interested only in your own life, but be interested in the lives of others.

• What can you do to shift the balance and draw out more from others about themselves?

Verse 6: Christ himself was like God in everything. But he did not think that being equal with God was something to be used for his own benefit.

• How can you use your skills, abilities, or talents to bless others more often?

Verse 7: But he gave up his place with God and made himself nothing. He was born as a man and became like a servant.

• In what situations can you let go of your rights and serve instead?

Verse 8: He humbled himself and was fully obedient to God, even when that caused his death-death on a cross.

• In what situation do you need to let go of your fears and obey?

After all those tough questions, take a step back and ask yourself: What encouraging thing did I notice about me in this exercise?

Humility Day 3: The Essential Ingredient

Day three of our study on humility is where Katie discusses how humility is essential.

Humility is the essential ingredient in the Christian life. Katie states the following eight core practices that are all powerless unless they partner with humility.

1. Worship
2. Self-Esteem
3. Honesty
4. Obedience
5. Teachability
6. Servanthood
7. Waiting
8. Brokenness

In 2 Corinthians 12:9-10, Paul names five types of problems in which he delights, because his weaknesses serve to show God's power:

"But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong."

Meditate and pray on these verses. Insert yourself into these words. What would it say if you wrote it and not Paul? Mine would say:

"But the Lord said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, Melissa, for my power is made perfect in your limitations." Therefore I will boast gladly when I am imperfect, so Christ's power may work in me. That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight when I am depressed, when my friend doesn't want to talk to me, when I am lonely, when I miss my husband, when I have a bad day, when I can't sleep. For when I am weak, Christ will make me strong."

Consider how humility is essential for Christian living. Pray for God's guidance in being humble in all areas of your life.

Humility Day 2: Pride

Today's reading in Character Makeover is about pride. I began today thinking: I am not prideful. I am just the opposite. But now I realize that there are areas in my life that I am prideful. Ways that I didn't realize or failed to acknowledge.

I really like the things that Katie talks about in this chapter about pride.

"Pride at it's essence is a problem of being me-centered. Pride sets us up against God and attempts to seize his lordship for ourselves." pg. 31

Katie then goes on to describe the four areas of pride along with scripture reference:

Exalting myself: "It's all about me."

• Exalting pride occurs when we overvalue ourselves by trying to build ourselves up.
• "You're hopeless, you Pharisees! Frauds! You love sitting at the head table at church dinners, love preening yourselves in the radiance of public flattery." Luke 11:43

Belittling myself: "Woe is me."

• Worthlessness is the most deceptive form of pride. This type of pride masquerades as humility, but it's really a reverse method of attracting attention. Women who belittle themselves are masters at undervaluing their worth.
• "And when you fast, don't make it obvious, as the hypocrites do, who try to look pale and disheveled so people will admire them for their fasting. I assure you, that is the only reward they will ever get." Matthew 6:16

Attacking others: "You're not as good as me."

• Pride that attacks others is a judgmental spirit, one which devalues others by tearing them down.
• For scripture reference on attacking others, see Matthew 7:1-5

Ignoring others: "You're not the boss of me."

• This type of ignoring others obviously undervalues their input.
• "Israel's pride will cause their defeat; they will not turn back to the Lord their God or look to him for help in all this." Hosea 7:10

After discussing these different types of pride, there is a self-evaluating test on which kind of pride you deal with most often. I took the test and was surprised by the results. It was a very revealing test. My area of pride that I struggle with most is belittling myself.

Here are Katie's suggestions for dealing with each type of pride:

• Do you exalt yourself? You can decide to die to self and stop attempting to steal God's glory. This is a conscious choice; it is a daily decision.
• Do you belittle yourself? You can learn who you are in Christ as his precious daughter and stop lying to yourself about your lack of value.
• Do you attack others? You can declare that God is God and stop trying to be president of the world.
• Do you ignore others? You can start seeing people as God' instruments and stop resisting their input.

Today, examine these different types of pride and how you see them in your own life. Ask God to show you. Pray to God for help in trying to be more humble and less prideful.

Humility Day 1: Seeing God

Humility is the foundation of all other character traits. Without it, we become boastful, prideful, and self-righteousness.

"The only sure path to humility is through gaining the right perspective. Humility is a natural result of having an accurate view of who God is and having the right perspective of who you are in relation to him. Truly humble people compare themselves not with other people, but only with Christ. They realize their sinfulness and understand their limitations. On the other hand, they also recognize their gifts and strengths and are willing to use them as Christ directs. A truly humble person will surve God in any capacity, even if she doesn't feel particularly gifted in that area." pg. 24

Some people think that humility means being a doormat and letting others walk all over you. But that is humiliation, not humility. God loves you and chose you. He wants you to know your strengths and weaknesses and not compare yourself to anyone but Christ. God wants you to use your gifts for Him and be willing to do things He calls you to do. Do not consider yourself more than you are, but don't consider yourself less than you are.

Katie ends day one with a journal activity that I will share here and answer truthfully.

Psalm 103:1-5
Who is God? God is a healer, forgiver of sins, redeemer, mercy giver, renewer.
Who am I in relation to him? I am forgiven, healed, renewed, and redeemed.
How can this understanding help me become humble? I am healed, redeemed, renewed, and forgiven because of Him. I recognize that God has given me a new life and I want to serve Him with it. I am blessed.

Psalm 103: 6-10
Who is God? God is merciful and gracious. He does not hold grudges. He does not punish us for our sins or reward us for our sins.
Who am I in relation to him? I am forgiven for ever! He has poured his mercy and grace upon me. He knows me in love not in anger.
How can this understanding help me become humble? I have done nothing to deserve his forgiveness, yet still he gladly forgives me.

Psalm 103:11-14
Who is God? His mercy is great. He has removed our sins far from us. He pities us and knows us. He remembers that we are only human.
Who am I in relation to him? I am truly forgiven and shown mercy.
How can this understanding help me become humble? God knows I am human and make mistakes, and he won't hold those mistakes against me.

Psalm 103:15-18
Who is God? God is eternal and merciful. He keeps his word to His children.
Who am I in relation to him? I am loved and chosen.
How can this understanding help me become humble? God will always keep His word to us, so we should keep our word to him.

Psalm 103:19-22
Who is God? God is ruler of all. His angels do His work.
Who am I in relation to him? God sends His angles to help me.
How can this understanding help me become humble? God sends his love and help to me. He is my helper and I will do his good works with His help.

Tomorrow we will talk about pride, one of the strongholds of humility.

Character Makeover - Introduction

I bought a book this weekend that I would like to discuss here. It is Character Makeover by Katie Brazelton and Shelley Leith.

This book is a 40 day study with a life coach to "create the best you."

Katie Brazelton has been a "Life Purpose Coach" for several years and has written many books. She helps women to discover their purpose in life and create a plan for their life so they leave a legacy. Katie considers herself our "Character Coach" in this book.

"Here are some important things we know up front: God cares more about the character we bring to our life mission than he does about our ministry's strategic plan. He cares more about our Christlike integrity than our kingdom-building productivity. He wants our honesty in all areas of our lives more than our accomplishments for him. In his Holy Book, learning to be holy is the bottom line (1 Peter 1:15-16)." pg.11

Katie has selected eight character traits to discuss in this book: humility, confidence, courage, self-control, patience, contentment, generosity, and perseverance. She chose these traits because they are the exact opposite of what 2 Corinthians 10:4 refers to as strongholds.

"The term strongholds refers to areas where our enemy, Satan, has set up camp and dug in, creating for himself a fortress from which he launches attacks and tries to destroy us. These are the places where we repeatedly experience discouragement, distress, defeat, and damage. These are the monsters that keep us from our God-given dreams." pg. 12

These eight character traits that are discussed in the book are what Katie sees as the "most prevalent strongholds" she sees in women today. Half of the traits are exhibited inwardly and half are exhibited outwardly. They can also fall into five different categories of relationships which effect our life purpose.

Relationship to God

• Humility deals with the inner strongholds of pride, self-centerdness, judgementalism, and worthlessness.

Relationship to Ourselves

• Confidence deals with the inner strongholds of insecurity, poor self-esteem, and perfectionism.
• Courage deals with the outward strongholds of fear, anxiety, and untruthfulness.

Relationship to Others

• Self-control deals with the inner strongholds of impulsiveness, addiction, being undisciplined, being over emotional, and being stress prone.
• Patience deals with the outward strongholds of being intolerant and demanding.

Relationship to Things

• Contentment deals with the inner strongholds of envy, dissatisfaction, and perpetual restlessness.
• Generosity deals with the outward strongholds of greed and an entitlement mentality.

Relationship to the Future

• Perseverance deals with the outward strongholds of quitting, hesitating, avoiding a decision, and not following through.

This book will be quite an adventure for me and I hope for you too.

Tomorrow I will begin out first day of the 40 day study. This week's character quality is humility. Please feel free to join me and read along!